first and third

well, a third of my 12 week program with the two Dr O's is done.
Thank God no filming this week.

It's been surprisingly easy to change my way of eating, tho i must admit there is a hole on my plate where chicken used to be.
For someone that needs not to become food obsessed again, now i have to think creatively about food and how many ways there are to eat a veggie....

i looked back at some of my early notes in my journal and week one went something like this:
"I cant believe i was picked out of all the women that filled out this survey to participate, what was i thinking, am i crazy, can i do this?, i cant do this, this is a huge commitment, what WAS i thinking, i cant tell people, how can i not tell people? i'll never keep this up for 12 weeks"   you get my drift.

the second week was more of a kind of Honeymoon Stage.
"this is so cool, I feel so much better, my head is clearer, the other 5 women are nice, the doctors, trainers, counselors are so supportive, Dean is supportive,..." 
Along those lines.
Shopping more often but for better stuff. Working out more often, very sore. creaky knees but running longer and further.
Meditating. Meditating? yes, meditating.
the second week people asked me what i was doing because i seemed different. Not LOOKED different, seemed different. People aren't used to me not being hyper. but hyper is usually anxious about something. My anxieties seem to be lessening, big time.
Every Wednesday before we are allowed to work out, the cardiologist takes our pressure and resting heart rate. My heart rate is going down. drastically. 104, 72, 72, 60.

the third week was when reality set in.
wait, what? this is a lifestyle change? I have to eat like this foreverrrrrrrrrrr?
Hmm, some of the honeymoon is over, and the real life commitment to a new relationship has settled in.
Just like a marriage I guess, all of a sudden things aren't so rosy 100% of the time.
BUT like any relationship, if its worth it for my health, then i must do the work.
so work i am. When i feel like I'm too tired to go to the gym, i go anyway. When i don't feel like making two meals, one with "animal" in it for the family, and one with "meatless meat stuff" in it for me, i make it anyway.

My gym guru (Kathi S) told me instead of of thinking "i can't possibly do something", tell myself "i can do this and i will rock the crap out of it!" So now that's my mantra, and its why if you pass Kathi's desk at the gym theres a tupperware thats filling up with rocks. Every week on the program i add a rock to the cup. Last wednesday was rock number 4 as i began my next week.

so here i am in week four. REAL life. i feel good, and i am looking forward instead of back.
you know what they say, if you are looking backwards while moving forward, you'll trip! so no tripping over the little sticks and stones that life throws at me.
its first and 3rd. put me in coach....